EmPTy...... BuT iT's Ok..

I feel empty.... But it's okie.

Last nite sleepover at Hadi's wif Bee. We woke up early, decided 2 walked home instead of him sending us back. So we walked, but we felt hungry. We went 2 K-Bab K-Lub instead n haf our brunch. Then we went 2 Stephen's Green Mall, we bought sum stuff 4 our study table. Really cute froggy thingy ;)

Then walked around Grafton St., we make a 'quick' stop at Topshop n both of us end up buying each a pair of shoe :P :P :P Owh yeah... Bee bought dis really cute Benetton bag, pink color. N I bought a Diesel pink halter neck top, n it's really cute! :D :D :D *dancing around happily* ;)

Off we went back b4 we spend waaayyyyyyy too much when I'm officially broke! :P

Biskut was here juz now. He's a nice guy :)

Lalaa called :)

Then take my shower, check my e-mails, friendster, myspace, wutever there is in here ;)

Get ready coz Hadi's is picking us up. Having dinner at his place. Watched few movies, n I slept tru it, hahahahahaa...... Xcept 4 d last movie tho, about d crazee lady. Nick was there too. He's funny as usual :)

Nick send us back home. Now I'm here updating my blog as usual, talking craps, wif nothing else 2 do xcept thinking about my family who I misz soOoOo much! N also Chain, I misz u lots!

N of course Lalaa who helped me a lot in every way he can. Thank god I knew him n RoY. I guess 2moro I'll go n meet them. I used 2 hang out wif them 24/7. So guyz.... B prepared.. :P :P :P I'm all free from now on like old dayz. I'm gonna bug ur houz, ur life n ur everything!!! Hahahahahhahaa........

My LoVe bEeN wAsTeD!

My so-called-love-life ended 2day, after 3 weeks. Which I think 4 d 1st 2weeks was so wonderfull n nice n all d good words shud b given.

Yet another short-term relation I'm involved. Y do I alwiz end up liking a guy, who alwiz haf another gurl. I mean like a 3rd party. Am I dat bad? I mean I never took anybody's bf or guy or wutever u call guyz nowdays. I'm alwiz end up being d unlucky ones. I guess my life is like dis n gonna b like dis 4ever.

Mayb I'm juz 'too nice', or not bitchy enuff? Which one huh?

CrAp! Love talk is crap!

Neway, I dun regret wut I haf done wif him. We had our happy moments 2gether eventho it's short tho. I guess d feeling is temporary 2 him. Y shud I care huh?

It's not d end of world rite? I can alwiz get d guyz I want. Can I? Dats d thing.......... I can never get d guy I want. Wut Alia said is true. We can never get d things or person dat we want.

Being a lesbian is alwiz a good choice. Gurlz alwiz understand another gurlz' feelings. But I dun think I wanna b a lesbian. I still like guyz or shud I say prefer guyz more 2 b my partner. Eventho guyz can b considered as sTuPoK in handling love-thingy. Sorry 4 d 'bad' words used.

Well.... Now I'm back in d market as a single gurl who's not even pretty, or rich, or even bitchy. I knoe I dun wear all those branded stuff, coz I can't afford it. I'm not pretty coz I'm not, n I dun knoe how 2 wear make-ups 2 cover up my face, 2 make it pretty (as if I care wut ppl think of me). I'm not bitchy coz I dun flirt wif every guy I get 2 knoe, or juz simply haf sex wif them coz I'm a virgin still, n proud 2 b.

Thank god I didn't lose it 2 sum1 not worth it. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose it wif my future husband, if I ever get married. Coz my love life is sooOoo pathetic, I haf alwiz knew dat I'm not gonna get married.

Guyz alwiz haf dis ideas about me. I dun wanna say it here. But they alwiz think wut I'm not.

Thanx 2 my gurlz who will alwiz b there 4 me n not 4getting Lalaa, even after wut I did 2 him. I feel so ashamed of wut I did 2 Lalaa. But Lalaa said dat I'll alwiz b his Lulu no matter wut. He's so sweet n nice n understanding, n I knew dat since I knew him. Thanx 2 Intan n Saiful who spend their time wif me 2nite watching movie about d Big Mommas. It was a funny movie tho. N also Alia who spend her time wif me at TGI, chatting wif me n make me feel all better.

All in all, I'm okie, n will b okie :)

Coz dis is not d 1st time. I mean guyz cheated on me, guy haf another gurl, guy can't 4get his x-gf, guy juz wanna haf fun, guy.... guy.... juz name it. So, I'm used 2 it.

No worries...

-oUtTa hErE-

:'(

I've been crying 4 d past 2 days..... :'(
I can't do my finance exam-assignment at all! Then I got my tax exam-assignment, n my marks is d lowest ever received by myself! I feel like a total idiot! I called Chain n cried like hell 2 him. I really misz Chain.... :'( At least he understand me well. N of course there's Roy who helped me a LOT. If not bcoz of him, I think I'll b walking all by myself like a crazee gurl crying..... Coz Roy called n we walked back home 2gether. I can't even stay in my room. I went 2 Roy's place, n called Chain using his houz phone. After dat I even cried 2 Mira n Roy. Roy gave me sum pills, n ask me 2 take it, n get sum rest. I'm juz way too tired of crying....

On Saturday morning, I woke up early coz I sleep way too much. Get in shower, get ready, take d bus 2 Azhar's. He was bz cleaning his apartment, talk a lil wif him. Then he went off 2 work. I packed my stuff n went back home. I walked back home from his place, crying.. :'( yet again.... I'm juz too sad.... About stuff.... :'( :'( :'( Even if he didn't notice it, I did.

Seriously I'm not feeling well, I had my dinner on my bed served by Mira (Thanx gurl....). Lalaa called n talked 2 me about it. Roy asked him 2 call me, I think coz Roy is too bz studying 4 his exam 2moro. I sleep after talking 2 him feeling soOoo tired coz been crying 2 days in a row.

2day I woke up late. Bee came back, n we had another gurl talk 2gether wif Mira. Then Mira n I went out 4 a walk at city centre, had lunch at Eddie's. Then meet up wif Bee n Elis at Sufi's. Had our usual catch-ups. Then off we went 2 Nik's houz, our junior. They haf dis houz warming thingy n I kinda haf fun over there. I juz haf 2 make myself bz, so dat I stop looking n checking my hp waiting 4 his call or text. Damn! Then me n Elis went 2 Aboy's place coz they cook too. Eat again! Then went back home. All of us had our usual talk-gossips-frenz-thingy at Bee's room. N now I'm in my room typing all dis coz I can't sleep, thinking about it. How can I stop thinking of it??!!!

I juz dun understand y ppl alwiz think they knew me or my gurlz. Hell no.... They dun. N plz remember, we haf feelings too. I mean, I haf feelings too. I guess I'm juz too nice (am I?).

-cOnFuSed-

FaR fAr AwAy....... :'(

I tried 2 study since yesterday, coz I haf Finance exam-assignment 2moro. Not sure whether I can do it or not, coz I haf not finish studying. Damn!

RoY is back! :) He came n haf lunch wif us juz now. He bought sum stuff 4 me. Thanx RoY! *sayang RoY!* Haf a talk wif RoY about stuff including LaLaA n aZhAr. At least RoY understands how I feel, thanx RoY. Really misz hanging out wif him n d others at 36. RoY, I knoe stuff gonna b a bit different from now on. But alwiz alwiz alwiz remember dat I'm still ur close frenz k? Not only u, but d whole no. 36 guyz. Misz u guyz soOoO much! Once u done wif ur exams, we'll haf our usual Eddie's Rocket trips, n movies marathon aite? ;) Not 4getting late nite playing fusball, pool,n listening 2 u guyz played d guitar n me singing badly? :P :P :P misz those moments!

Hurmmm.....

Misz him badly.... Didn't c him at all 2day. Only 1 day k.... B a bit strong fAirY! *angry 2 myself*
Where r u?!!! R u bored wif me already? :'(

FoCuS!!!!! U haf 2 study damn it!

bEeN bZ oR u JuZ bZbOdY? :P

I still remember Hady said it d other day 2 me n Azhar.. :P

I knoe it's been a week since I last blog. I dun even knoe wut 2 blog other than stuff dat surround Azhar :)

Neway, I really had fun wif his sis, Kak Mariam. She's juz like my sis Kak Anne. We can talked for hrs about everything n nothing. She likes 2 talked about her bf sPoNgEbOb (dats wut she called him). They r soOOoOOo cute! Mayb I'll meet him 1 day.

Owh yeah... I shud tell u guyz about OUR valentine's day. It was special tho. We had dinner at dis fancy place called D One. Then we had a drink at AKA bar, it was a nice place too. I think I wanna go n hang out there later ;) After dat we head back home 2 my houz. Dats when we opened our valentine's gift. Wut he gave me, n wut I gave him..... We both like it! No need 2 mention wut it was :P :P :P

Then we watched some movies at my laptop, n haf sum fun, n fall in2 deep sleep :)
Basically, dats 1 of d special nite we had 2gether, coz there's only d 2 of us.

hahahaa..... :P I knoe.... I'm ALL over him. I myself dun believe it! I never really fall 4 sum1 like dis k.. ;) Hope it will last :) Rite Sayang? ;)

Rite now I'm soOOo full. We had dinner at Sultan, ate dis BIG kebab. Then we went 2 Ameer's n hang out, Kak Mariam was there. Then Nick n Kak Fyda came n picked us up. Now we at home waiting 4 Azhar Sayang n Nick who went 2 rent some dvd's. 2nite shud b like other nites. Full of laughters, plain having fun n also love! :P

2moro there's dis Futsal 4 Malaysian student at UCD. Can't wait 2 go n watch my frenz play, n also my Sayang :)

I guess dats all 4 now. I'll blog whenever I haf d time k? I knoe u guyz misz me :P

iN a RuSh... ;)

Dats his fav song by Blackstreet. I like it too :)

2day after class, went 2 meet my sayang aZhAr. Walked around 2gether, then 2 Yamamori 2 haf lunch wif his frenz. I met Zaim, David, Syafiq n Syapiq, they really nice n fun ppl 2 hang out wif.

After dat, we decided 2 go 2 my place. Mira was at home. Me n him really had fun hanging out wif Mira. Mira likes him 2, glad u like him gurl. I was worried u dun like him, coz I really appreciate ur honesty, I alwiz do :) They can get along very well.

Then every1 went out. Leaving me n him alone, hahahahahaa........... We didn't do anything :P
U knoe wut? Me n him is in d process of getting 2 knoe each other AFTER becoming an item. How funny is dat? :P But both me n him thinks dat it xcite us n make us want each other more ;)

We really make use of d time juz now. We had like 5 hrs 2gether. In between my frenz came, Bee n Elis came back n all. But we really enjoy our time 2gether :)

Rite now he's at d club, Spirit. I dun feel like going, 2 lazy 2 walk coz it's damn cold outside. I dun think I'm gonna c him 2moro. Coz he's going out 4 golf in d morning til noon wif Nick. Then work from 4 to midnite. Gonna misz him ssOOoooOOo much!!!!

I guess I'll go 2 d city wif Mira n haf sum fun! ;) Mayb sleepover at Adlina's place.

Hope 2 c him on Sunday :) As plan, gonna sleepover at his place. Misz Kak Mariam's cooking!!!!! She's really a good cook! YuMmY!!! :D :D :D

Wut shud I do now huh? Feel hungry still even after a plate of rice :P

-oUTtA hEre-

LoVe TaLk... :)

Last nite went 2 Starbuck, hang out wif every1! :)
AzHaR sAyaNg :), Nick, MiErA, Kak Fyda, Kak Mariam, Kiki, Daus, MiNt, aMeEr.

2day aZhaR came around 12.30pm, we walked 2 town, had our brunch (breakfast+lunch) at Verona. N we didn't finished it!!! We were sOOoo FuLL! Then he walked me 2 college. He's at work rite now. Gonna c him 2moro after class at 2pm. Waaaa!!!!! Misz him already....... Is dis Love TaLkiNg? If it's, then I'm in LoVe wif aZhAr..... ^-^ Can't wait 2 c him 2moro. Gonna haf lunch at Yamamori wif sum of his frenz who I never meet b4.

I knoe it's kinda weird.... HAhahhahaa.... We juz knew each other like wut, few days.... But we can't get enough of each other :) I think dats a good sign. Dis is d very 1st time I fall 4 sum1 I hardly knew. It's kinda xcite me in every way :)

Neway, remember I've been blogging about LaLaA? He's gonna stay being my fren (I hope). I dunno, we kinda haf an argument about me being wif aZhAr. I tot he can't decide? Well.... Things happen. Me n AzHaR Love each other instantly when we met d other day :) gLad dat I meet him, n he likes me, n I like him :P

Can't stop blogging about him now..... ahhahahahahaa...... ;)

HaPp!EsT wEeK!!!!

It's been a while since my last blog. Well...... Things turn out 2 b soOooOOo unexpected :)
Which I like...

Sunday nite, went out wif Azhar for a drink at Sam Saraa. Then meet up wif Nick n Mira, haf dinner at Sufi's. Then meet up wif Mint n Shah, n haf a drink at Capital. We were having fun :)
Off 2 Azhar's place 2 watch sum DVD's.

Monday, Intan text me in d morning, woke me up! Me n Mira get ready n meet her 4 lunch, 2gether wif Alia n Hadi. Meet up wif Saiful, Nick, Azhar, Kak Mariam, Kak Fida, Hatta, Kiki, Abu at Starbuck. It feels like we r back in KL, having either coffee or hot choc n juz plain hanging out wif frenz. Then all of us went 2 Hadi's place. It's like party on Monday! :P

Kak Mariam invite me 2 sleepover at her place. So, I did. Me n Azhar, we had sumthing... LOL :P Wutever it is, how it happened, I'm happy :D

Y'day went 2 Azhar's place again, had dinner, had fun, sleepover yet again.

Rite now doing nothing..... Owh by d way, Hadi was here. We talked sum stuff. He said he wanna chit-chat (dats wut he called it) dis weekend, a LoOOoonnnGGg one. I wonder wut he wanna talk about.

ThiNgS 2 B kEpT iN hEaRT...

Ignore my title.... :P

I need 2 take my shower!!!!! hahhahahaa.....

Y'day was fun :) Me n Elissa went 2 Aleph's houz. We bought d chicken legs, fries, n drinks. Akib cooked black pepper chicken chop, yuMmY!!!! ;)

We watched 3 movies. Aleph been trying 2 win Caveman, n he did it til Level 7. Wut an achievement :) He asked me when can he claim his Level 4 prize :P :P :P Later k? I won't run away from my promise, dun worry :)

Owh yeah... I promised Azhar 2 hang out wif him 2nite wif sum frrenz. He wanna buy me a drink.

I watched The OC Season 3, episode 1 till 11 on Friday nite alone at 36. They all went out n leave me alone. Coz I got a bad head-ache, they gave me pills, foods, n asked me 2 sleep. Thanx Mambe 4 d Chicken Hut's chicken.

I gotta go n take my shower........... Seriously... Hahhahahahaa.... :P :P :P

pEn!N pALe....

I got a really bad headache 2day. Dunno y...

I went out early wif Bee, Alia, Elissa n Hadi 2 Sino-Irish 2 pay our flight ticket. D ticket increase bcoz of d tax. Wutever it is, my flight ticket is confirmed! :D

After dat we had lunch at K-Bab K-Lub. Then went 2 college, we had Audit at 2pm. Then break 1hr, I went 2 d library wif d intention 2 sleep. But bcoz I haf a BIG headache, I can't sleep. I text LaLaA. Meet up wif him n we went 2 bank. Then I walked back 2 college coz I haf MA at 4pm. Class was cancelled! :P :P :P

I met Nick, Saiful, Intan n Azhar at college. We decided 2 go n hang out 4 a while. We walked around, bought d donuts, dinner at Epicurean, then walked back home. They took d bus of course...

I called LaLaA n d gurl picked up. Wut d heck? I dun even care now. Do I? Wutever.... Hahhahahaha.a...... :P

Went I arrived at home, Elissa told me dat she invited our frenz over 2 hang out. Coz both of us r damn bored! Coz Mira n Bee bz trying 2 find outfit 4 d Malaysian Nite.

Neway, there's Izwan, Ayin, Razlan, Mat Le, Nad, Ada, Et, Aisyah, Attie, Leang, Uma, Din, Soyat n K-Rel. Izwan cook a delicious mihun goreng. We played Joey Jr, twister, uno, we watched Ungu Violet, Gol dan Gincu, juz plain having fun ;)

Wif all d fun going on, I still had my headache. After they went back, I took my vitamin n panadol. Text LaLaA juz now, told him I still got my headache. LaLaA not coming back 2nite, hang out at his frenz.

Hurmmm...... Wuts up wif me n LaLaA huh? Do I like him or wut? But I knoe it's gonna b damn hard 2 b wif him if d gurl is still around. If only u knoe wut I mean..... It's like a competition between me n d gurl 2 get him. N I dun wanna lose, n yet I dun wanna fight. Juz let it b...... If it happen, it will.

I dun even care if I haf a bf rite now. Life is juz so complicated 4 me. Y is dis happening? Y nobody approach me huh? Other than LaLaA? Having relationship wif LaLaA is gonna b d most difficult ever, I juz knew it. Wutever.......... I can't think rite now. Having a BAD n BIG headache.

IziT gOnNa B nOrMaL?

Last nite, I hang out wif Elissa watched Ungu Violet. D story was okie, but a bit sad. After dat I went 2 bed.

Bee came back n we had a LoOOoooOOng talk after all dis time. We talked about me, her, Chain n stuff. Me n her, we understand each other wayyyyy too well. Both of us misz Chain like crazee!!!!!! Chain!!!! We going back dis June, n u better follow us 2 Dublin in August ok?!! Me n Bee is making dis decision 4 u. U better prepare urself :)

Dis morning, I woke up, took shower, call my parents, n now I'm here. Waiting 4 Bee 2 shower. We r going 2 Cino Irish, 2 pay our flight ticket. Yesh, we r going back ppl!!!!! :D :D :D
*dancing around* ;)

By d way, y'day I went 2 class happily coz I wear my new skirt, my boots (1st time wearing it) n my long coat (1st time wearing it too!!!). I bought all dis stuff but didn't wear it, wut a waste! So from now on if I wear anything new, it's NOT new. Juz dat I didn't wear it YET. I dun even haf money 2 shop now ppl............. *sob sob sob* :P :P :P

Can't wait 2 go back 2 KL!!!!!! ;)

a LOT bEtTeR...

I woke up, st8 2 shower n now infront of my laptop. Hurmmm.....

Feeling a LOT better. Had a looong chat wif him b4 I went 2 bed. Things r settled now I think. Anyhow I dun even haf d time 2 think about it now.

I guess I need 2 b myself again! I am myself all along, but now I'm trying 2 divert all d feelings 2 sumthing else. Feel like cutting my hair short, piercing my ears, n do sumthing different. Which 1 shud I do huh? I feel like piercing my ears, but I'm scared it's gonna hurt me soOOooo much! Mira gonna go wif me 2 pierce my ears 2day, but she's not doing it. Shud I do it or not? Do I haf d courage 2 do it?

We'll find out when I blog d next time k? ;)