mr.sunshine?

Before anyone ask me who is mr.sunshine, I better clear things up.

mr.sunshine = the sun in m'sia

I miss mr.sunshine... Irish weather is getting horrible each day. It is very cold now and I don't feel like going to my place to take my remaining cloths. *sigh* It's only a 5 minutes walk and it feels forever!!!

Whoever that think mr.sunshine is a person has been fool by me eh? ;) I'm still waiting for a decent guy to approach me one fine day. Maybe that one fine day going to happen next year? We will have to find out together! :)

I think I better go and take a nap. This pill makes me drowsy....

P/S: Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all my family and friends wherever you are :)

I'm officially a Tenterfields! :)

I've moved out from my apartment today. I'm now one of the Tenterfields' Girls! :) I'm moving-in with the girls (Tasha, Akma, Elina & Amy) temporarily. I'll be staying at their place until the day comes. What day? The day I'm catching my flight back home :D :D :D

It was a tiring moving-in. Thanks to Suria & Tasha for the helping hand. Now I'm happy in my pyjamas in the room typing away my favourite blog.

I still have some of my sickness. The weather helps in my 'recovery'. Hurmmm... Typical Irish weather. I can't wait to meet mr.sunshine!

I gotta go now. Tasha & I are going to Lidl to get some groceries :)

yucky sicky, plz go away now...

I'm still sick. I had fever, sore throat, huge headache and now runny nose! yucks! I eat a lot of panadols and Strepsils but it doesn't work. Rina had to get me more panadols because I ran out of it. I hope I'll feel better tomorrow. I have stuff to do, I have to study for god sake!

Please get well soon body. I need you for the exam. I also need you for the London trip and the trip back home. I need you to be healthy once I touch down in KL. I have family gatherings which I'm so looking forward! I'm meeting my friends who I've missed soooo much! Yummy food to die for. What else? My special mission (whatever it is... hehehee...)

This sickness makes me homesick. I text few of my friends in KL just now. I can't wait to see them. All of them promised to take me out for food fiesta! Yippee!!! Thinking of them make me smile and happy after all the things I've been through. I try hard to be strong each day. If by texting and calling my friends/family makes me feel stronger, I'll do it.

Oh boy... Where can I find a decent man?

Note to myself: Have fun being single!

sickness...:'(

I'm officially sick :'( I had sore throat, fever and huge headache!!! Is it because of the tap water I drink yesterday? I can't drink it, but I did. How stupid am I? Hurmmm...

Anyway, I went to watch New Moon with Serene and Anwar (yes, I'm the 3rd wheel!!! haha..), and the movie is as expected. I finished all 4 books of Twilight saga. So I knew what's going to happen. But I'm amazed by Jacob's body! Hotness!!! I guess bye bye Edward for now... hehe...

I had a huge fight with someone today. It really pissed me off! I don't think I can trust that person anymore. A liar will always find ways to lie and cover the truth. Even though there are evidences! I don't need a person like you by my side. Just stop hurting me and go away.

I had a long chat with Serene today,and every time I talked to her, I feel a lot better. She should be a counselor and specialize on relationship problems. She makes me feel better and a lot stronger each day. What will I do without you hot mama! (Oh yeah.. she's happily married to Anwar and pregnant with his baby!). Looking at her... It is possible to be happy. I know that some day, some where, I will meet that special someone like she did.

Oh crap... My headache is getting worst! CK asked me to drink 100Plus. I guess I need to go to Asia Market and get some ASAP. I really need my strength to study for the coming exam! First thing first.. need to get some sleep now. Goodnight all!

xoxo

love is never fair

My love life suck big time. I'm never good at it. I guess being single have certain advantages. But each day I'm reminded by the disadvantages more often than ever. I envy those people who can live their live without a partner and never worries about it. Maybe by focusing their mind on their job, college, family or other things make them stronger and an absent of a partner doesn't affect their lives that much.

How I wish I could be like those people. I've told myself thousands of time that I can do it. I can live on my own. I don't need to accept any guy that came into my life. Those guys can stay as friends. I can still live as a girl who can decide everything for herself. I don't need to be yell at, or accused for something I didn't do.

I don't need to be told 'I have no feelings for you anymore', or 'I think we should break-up caused you are different now', or 'We want different things in life' or other craps guys always told a girl when they are bored. Or maybe it is just for fun?

And I also don't need to be yell at, accused each day for not being loyal. When the only thing I did was going to work/college, and rarely go out with my friends. Let alone my guy friends. Is it simply impossible for a girl to have guys as their best friend? FYI, I have few guys as my best friend and 'surprisingly' they never take advantage of me.

This year 2009 has been the toughest year for me. Everything from work, college, my love life and other things I need to deal with. I know my decision to go back to my family is the only wise decision I made, even though it is hard.

Love is never fair to me. But at least I'm going back to my eternal love, the one that matters always, and will never tell me all those hurtful things I've been through all this years...My family.

Maybe my prince charming get lost and couldn't find his way to me. It is ok. I'll wait patiently until the day comes. In the mean time, I just want to be happy.

lost track?

I might have lost track of time, place, people... I'm just so blur this past few weeks. Too many things to handle and settle. Too many hearts to satisfied. And I ended up so tired, weak, lifeless! At least few things settled, and I'm happy for now.

Now I can focus on my studies 100%. My mind been away too many times. And now I think I got it back, and it might have hurt some people in the process. But what I need is time and space to study. I have nothing left here in Dublin other than my studies. A reminder.. I'm still jobless.

I do have good news. I bought my flight ticket to Malaysia! YES! I'm going back home for good. And I'm very happy with my decision. I can't wait to see my family and actually live with them! I don't have to be homesick ever again!

I guess I have few weeks left to hang out with my friends in Dublin. I'm going to miss you guys so much! Let's hang out before I leave aite. Spend some quality time together :) AFTER exam of course!

Wish me luck with my studies and exam!

stop yelling!

I don't need another person to yell at me every day. My life is complicated enough and I seriously don't need the yelling and the accusations.

I have my studies to catch up with, and I really need to be focusing on it. My studies/certs are the things that I'll bring with me forever.

I want to stop arguing and yelling with you. If you can't accept who I am, my friends, the way I live my life, my weird ways of thinking... Or maybe you can no longer wait for me, tell me now.

p/s: really not in a good mood this past few days. I hate myself!

my priorities...

I've never mention in here on my priorities. But I think I should as a reminder to myself.

My first priority is towards my family. I'm a family person. I can't live without them. Surprisingly I'm still alive after 4 years living abroad! Don't forget the continuous phone calls and text messages everyday between me and them. I miss them dearly...

My second priority is towards myself. It includes my studies and my career. For now, I have to witheld the career part. I'm still jobless and surviving on my savings. But I've click my full-time student mode and can't wait to finish up my last 3 papers! Wish me luck! :)

My third priority is towards that special someone. If I actually have one! Heheheeee...

My fourth priority is towards my friends. I have wonderful friends that I love to stick with til I'm old and gray.

P/S: My Fedex Raya arrived 30mins ago!!! :D Thanks mama & ayah!

i feel like screaming!

At this very moment, I do feel like screaming!

It is hard to accept the fact that you are losing someone to certain circumstances. I move forward each day as hard as I can. But sometimes I slipped. Going back there is painfull. It makes my life miserable and sad.

I guess this is another phase of my miserable life that I have to deal with. I don't think I can forget it easily or ever. Thanks for the sweet memories, but losing you as a friend is very hard for me to accept.

I guess you are right. Things aren't always the way they seem.

Nobody knows what is really happening inside. One thing for sure, I feel like screaming or maybe crying can make me feel better? Who knows... I tried that before, it seems to work for a while. Will my tears make me feel better this time? I hope it will...

P/s: Mixed emotions lead to this entry. Happy Ramadhan all!

good news!!! :D

OK! So I might over-react or wutever. But I'm really happy! :D

I took 2 papers on my last exam, and I pass 1! I got really good marks! Yippee!!!! Eventho I only pass 1 out of 2, I'm still jumping up and down!!!! Gosh! I'm really happy after a very loooong time!

Congrats to my friends who pass all papers, and one of them is already affiliate! Wait for me girl!!! I'm going to be next! hehehehee...