LiFe iS hArD, bUt i HoPe i'LL sUrViVe...

Life is pretty hard on me lately. I guess trying 2 help/think of other ppl is bad. Coz it make myself where I am now, which is homeless, broke, unavailable, tired n wutever I'm feeling rite now. Juz too tired thinking, walking, searching n helping. Sumtimes I feel like giving up. But I can't, I haf 2 stay strong. I guess dis is 1 of those things every1 wud feel when they r living on their own without their family, n so damn far away... Is dis y I shud stay here longer? Or shud I juz go back as soon as I finish my studies? Hurmm.... I dun haf d answer now. I hope I will when d time comes.

HaPpY b'DaY!!!! :)

So.... Y'day was Hadi's b'day n now he's 21 yrs old :)

WE (a LOT of ppl involved) throw him a surprise party at our (me+bEe+mEiRa) place. Every1 was there :) I mean every single person who's close 2 Hadi. Thanx 2 every1 n d organizer, u guyz rock! ;) I knoe Hadi loves it n he didn't xpect it at all from his frenz.

N 2day, surprisingly my dad's b'day!!!!! Yay!!!! ;)

HaPpY b'DaY oLd MaN :P

I text him once I get up from sleep dis morning. He was on top of our houz roof when he received my text, cleaning it up. BUT he did bring his hp wif him (Hahahhaa.... I knoe, it's kinda funny. 4 safety reason I guess :P). He was surprised by my text coz he said I'm d 1st person 2 wish him dat day-minus my mom of course ;) He asked my sis who's at d office 2 text me saying tq n he loves me! :D :D :D Owh yeah... He doesn't knoe how 2 text me back eventho he used hp for few yrs already. A BIG HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAA for him in his lack of knowledge in technology. He's 64 2day, wut u xpect? Hehehehhehe .... Kidding dad :P Neway I did called him afterwards 2 wish him 'LIVE'. Dats all I can do 4 him while I'm away.

Then I woke up, had my shower, brunch n off 2 Grafton 4 a job hunting!!! :D Cross fingers n hope I get a part-time job!!!!! :D I'm juz SUPER-BORED!

I bought ice-cream n off 2 Mambe's place. He cook dinner!!! as alwiz~~~~~ :P okie, I gtg. I'm starving!!!!!!!!!

hE's BaCk!!!!! i'M nO LoNgEr aLoNe! Hahahaha....

Hahahahahaaa.... ;)

My bestie Mambe is back! :D He arrived yesterday morning n gave me a surprise call!!!!! I'm glad he's back n safe in 1 piece (Coz of dat London bomb thingy, everyone knoes it!). Now I haf my fren back!, I'm no longer gonna b bored or alone DAT much :P

Can't wait 4 d others 2 come back too!

Roy!!! Mamat!!! Sahak!!! Pok Lah!!! Cepat la balik wei! Ader Mambe n fAirY je nie! X complete lagik !!!! :P :P :P

Owh yeah... Yesterday went shopping wif Baby. She got everything she need n ALL of it was a good buy! BUt yeah.... Tired walking around d city.

N back 2 Mambe, met him already. Had dinner n sum tv-watching wif him. Mane daa org lain nie? Cepat la balik korang!!!!! :P

Humph.... I think I shud call my mom n dad. It's been a few days I guess. Dun worry, I'm no longer DAT homesick. Now dat I haf my usual ppl ;)

LaDy iN d WaTeR...

It was a nice great movie! I watched it wif Ameer. Both of us love it so much!!!!!!!!! U guyz shud watch it! :D

I guess dats d only thing dat made my day 2day :)

Called tOmaToMan 2day. Misz him so much! Cepat la balik sayang!!!!! Nanti bAbY tOmAtO bole g London :P tRyiNg 2 find reasons 2 go there AGAIN! :P :P :P Well... London is a LOT bigger than Dublin. Can't wait 2 get out of Dublin n haf sum real fun! :D

Then I called Kak Anne. Misz her so much too!!!!!!! We talked more than an hour! She is truly my one n only BIG sis n BESTFREN. Eventho we fight, yell at each other, we knoe we haf each other 4ever! Sumtimes wut she said hurts me, coz I think she's rite. D same thing goes 2 her. I knoe sumtimes my opinions/says hurt u sis, but dats wut I think. I guess WE haf each other 4ever coz we r true 2 each other.

Well dats wut frenz r 4 :) Not suppose 2 haf any secrets, back-stabbing, talking behind them, pretending coz wanna look NICE when actually d EVIL/BAD one, n etc etc etc.... LOtsa more. I guess each n every1 of us haf sum others in mind. Juz look deep in urself n think, "R u a nice fren? Or u r juz a pretender?".

I'm juz glad I haf Kak Anne. Love u sis! :)

After looking back n do some thinking. I'm sooOOooOOoo Loving my life! I pass my degree, haf a great bf who loves me :), I haf my FAMILY n I'm starting my ACCA class very soon. Insyaallah I can do it! ;)

-----hUrM-----

HuRm............

bOrEd
tiReD
dUnNo WuT 2 dO
m!sZ mY fAmiLy
WhErE iS zArL?
fEeL a BiT f***Ed Up
CrAzEe WeAtHeR
hUnGrY
No MoNeY
sAd

hUrM.......

bOrEd..... hUrm... BuT sO mUcH 2 dO!!!

Hurmm...... I tot of blogging on how I get myself 2 Dublin. yeah I'm back in Dublin after 2 whole months in KL wif my family... *sigh*

Then I tot I wanna blog on how I misz home already. N I'm home-sick. Huh? Can u believe it? Home-sick again? After 8 long months staying in Dublin without my family? Yeah.. I did feel it AGAIN!!!!!

I'm so bored! Eventho I juz arrived for few days. But I haf so much things 2 do.

1. Go 2 d bank n settle everything!
2. Go 2 college n settle everything!
3. Still waiting 4 my student pack 2 arrive n can't wait 2 settle d exemptions/exam fees wif ACCA
4. Find new place 2 stay
5. Find a job!!! Retail I guess... Office job wud definitely b a bonus :)
6. Start packing
7. Do my laundry... Like NOW!

Dats all I can think of now.

I wanna go back home n sleep now.

MiXeD fEeLiNg.... HurM....

I think dis is d worst ever feeling I ever had.

MIXED FEELING

1. I'm kinda xcited 2 go back 2 Dublin next weekend coz I misz my frenz over there. But at d same time I dun wanna leave home where my family lives. I knoe I'm gonna misz them terribly. N I'm not sure when I'm coming back again, n wut wud change when I do come back. Plus I dun even meet all of my goodfrenz back in M'sia. Hurmm.... yeah, they live far away from me who's staying in KL. Damn! If only I came back 2 M'sia earlier, n going back 2 Dublin as late as I can. My ticket too early!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(

2. As I told u b4, my sayang ZarL is back here in M'sia. I'm all xcited about him coming back home n all. Me n him at d same country, same weather, same everything! But d weird thing is.... We didn't meet up yet. N I dun think we will do dat here in M'sia. There's juz sum issues dat I think is really testing our relationship. Me trying 2 b strong eventho I do sumtime think dat me n him r both weak when it comes 2 miszing each other.

If I dun c him here in M'sia, I guess both of us haf 2 really save up our money 2 travel Dublin-London or vice versa juz 2 c each other. Hurmmmm....... Juz when I tot it's gonna b a bit easy 4 both of us, I was wrong, totally wrong.

I dun knoe y.... But all my heart was saying 2 me d past few days was 'Stay strong n focus. U guyz can do it eventho it's hard'. I hope it's true... I'm staying focus. I hope he is too.

HuRm........

Dis is 2 of d biggest issues in my life now. N both make me haf dat mixed feeling which I dun like at all......... I feel like Screaming! Crying! Running away!

I dun wanna feel anything!!!!!

*sob*sob*sob*sob*sob*

TirEd... bUt WorTh iT :)

Been feeling so tired since Sunday. Well... Sunday. Me, mom, sis, sis-in-law, nephews n niece, we went 2 Sunway Lagoon. Hheheehheheee..... It was fun! All of us end up having a darker skin now coz it was a hot Sun-day :)

Monday. I barely awake. Sleep all day... Hehehehehee...

Tuesday. I went 2 ACCA place n settle everything. Juz hope it went well :)
Bought my graduation 'kebaya'. I love it! Thanx mama n ayah.

Rite now I'm so nervous waiting 4 my ZarL 2 come back home. He's on his flight rite now. Haf a safe journey sayang :) can't wait 2 c u!!!!!

N yeah... I feel tired. N I haf 2 get ready 2 go back 2 Dublin. 2 n half weeks more n I'll b back in Dublin. Wut shud I bring back huh? LOTSA FOOD!!!!! Hahahahhaa... :P :P :P Wut else? Hurmmm..... I'll think of it later.

D most important thing now is ZarL on his way back to Malaysia! :D
I'm juz too xcited!!!! N nervous too. I wonder y I feel so nervous. I can't think of nothing other than ZarL coming back home. Knock me, pinch me or wutever.... :P

I love u sayang!!! :)

hurmmmmmm............

Okay I knoe wut I said on my last blog... I'm gonna send off d registration form ASAP. But I juz finish filling d form. Hurmm..... I'll send it off after I woke up from sleep 2nite. I haf everything wif me, xcept for my latest result transcript. Mira post it 2 me d photocopies, still waiting 4 it. I guess I'll settle d 6 exemptions 1st, n upgrade another 3 exemptions (IF I get 3... hurmm... dun give me only 2. I knoe my result is bad). Hurmmmm.........

I cut my hair 2day at last! After those months, n those long hair, n having 2 wash DAT long hair. Hurmmmmm.......... Now it's shorter.

Texting wif ZarL 2day. Misz him so much! He called juz now. Talked 2 him 4 a while. Whenever I picked up d phone, n listening 2 his voice on d other line, make my heart beat so fast... :) I'm alwiz ALL xcited whenever I'm wif him. Which is basically tru YM, Skype, texting each other, calling each other, n even better when we spend those 8days 2gether. I can still remember everything we did during dat time. I can't wait 4 him 2 come back home. Yeah. He's coming back. He's coming back soon.......... :)

But I'm going back 2 Dublin pretty soon myself. I juz hope I get 2 c him once or twice b4 I go back 2 Dublin.

U knoe wut? I think finding sum1 2 live wif is easier than finding sum1 u can't live without. Dis relationship teach me a LOT. Coz it's definitely different from my past relationships. I'm juz gonna keep on moving 4ward n appreciating every moment of dis relation :) Wish me luck ppl!

sTuFf...

6 JuLy - Amira's b'DaY :) She's 4 yrs old now. She's my niece.

I met Nana n Alia on tHursDaY. Congrats 2 Alia coz she managed 2 get a GOOD job in KL. Proud of u gurL ;) I watched dis chinese horror movie >>> Re-Cycle. Kinda ok I think.

Actually I dun really haf d mood 2 bLog. But I dunno y I'm here now..... Hurmm....

Juz now we had a family bbq thingy celebrating Amira's b'Day. She looked happy :)
Now she's 4 yrs old. But she's still d baby of d family coz she's d smallest, hehehehehee...

Hurmmm.....

Owh yeah.... Selamat Pengantin Baru 2 Lan Helmi n wife. Thanx 4 d wedding invitation both from e-mail n d card u posted :) But I can't make it 2 d wedding coz I haf transportation probs, n d place is not nearby. Hope u guyz haf a happy wedding, n a longgggggggg marriage :)

Wut else 2 blog? Hurmmm..........

I shud blog about how boring I am rite now. I shud do sumthing.... I shud fill d ACCA registration form, go n take a nice n decent passport size pic, n send off d whole thing 2 d ACCA office Monday or Tuesday or ASAP. Hurmmm.... I'll do it 2moro.

Hurmmmmm.........

I misz my ZarL...