love is never fair

My love life suck big time. I'm never good at it. I guess being single have certain advantages. But each day I'm reminded by the disadvantages more often than ever. I envy those people who can live their live without a partner and never worries about it. Maybe by focusing their mind on their job, college, family or other things make them stronger and an absent of a partner doesn't affect their lives that much.

How I wish I could be like those people. I've told myself thousands of time that I can do it. I can live on my own. I don't need to accept any guy that came into my life. Those guys can stay as friends. I can still live as a girl who can decide everything for herself. I don't need to be yell at, or accused for something I didn't do.

I don't need to be told 'I have no feelings for you anymore', or 'I think we should break-up caused you are different now', or 'We want different things in life' or other craps guys always told a girl when they are bored. Or maybe it is just for fun?

And I also don't need to be yell at, accused each day for not being loyal. When the only thing I did was going to work/college, and rarely go out with my friends. Let alone my guy friends. Is it simply impossible for a girl to have guys as their best friend? FYI, I have few guys as my best friend and 'surprisingly' they never take advantage of me.

This year 2009 has been the toughest year for me. Everything from work, college, my love life and other things I need to deal with. I know my decision to go back to my family is the only wise decision I made, even though it is hard.

Love is never fair to me. But at least I'm going back to my eternal love, the one that matters always, and will never tell me all those hurtful things I've been through all this years...My family.

Maybe my prince charming get lost and couldn't find his way to me. It is ok. I'll wait patiently until the day comes. In the mean time, I just want to be happy.